Wednesday, September 27, 2006

One small step for a Raisin

The other day, after pouring a bowl of one of my favourite cereals, Extra Raisin, the most amazing thing happened. I normally like Extra Raisin over brand-named Raisin Bran because the Extra Raisin has, well, extra raisins. Every bowl is filled with plenty of big, plump California Raisins, each one loaded with sugar and ready to say "Good Morning!" However, on this particular day, in this particular bowl, they really out-did themselves.

That, my friends, sitting in the middle of my breakfast, is solid, unadulterated raisin. It may just be the largest chunk of raisin ever to hit the most important meal of the day.

Most raisins of this size and calibre are found in orbit beyond Mars, in a little-known sector known affectionately as "the Sun dried belt". In the aftermath of Pluto's recent exile from official planet status, many of the lesser bodies in our system left their place in orbit. In hopes of avoiding public disgrace, many fled to the Kevlar belt while some sought religious and political asylum. The others? Evidently they ended up in cereal boxes.

After his somewhat shocking appearance among my bran flakes, the infamous raisin fled. I was lucky to have even seen the marvel, let alone to take a photograph.

The current whereabouts of the raisin are anyone's guess. Later that same day eye witnesses reported an unreasonably large raisin chunk heading west towards the coast. Witnesses say it was wearing a fake moustache and a fedora, trying to pass itself off as a traveling salesman.

Among all the fervour and media attention, it's difficult to separate the fiction from the facts. Rumours of the raisin running for governor in several states are unvarified, and the alledged sighting of the raisin saving a pair of infant twins from a burning building are sketchy at best. I was, however, able to verify that the raisin did in fact star in a short-lived Japanese cartoon titled simply "Little Ray-son Man", depicted here.

This is not just the story of one raisin. This is the story of one really Big raisin, and it landed in my cereal. This fact makes me feel special.

I hope you enjoyed this ride , because I know I did. I'm just glad to be able to share it with you.



Mom Colvin said...

syusWow! your breakfast experience will certainly be raisin a few eyebrows, not to mention expectations of similar manifestations in the breakfast bowls of the nations.

Dave, you are hilarious, please don't ever lose your playfulness.

Love to you all, Mom XXX

Mom Colvin said...

the "syus" from the previous message was in fact part of the word verification but you can make it anything you want.

How about "save your unused socks" or "see you Union Station" or the ever popular "seven yellow umbrella stands" or "spell your unique saying".

Have fun, play.


westcoastloon said...

DAve, that was AWESOME!! Thank you for taking a moment and turning it into a celebration. You're very good at that. Who knew that one litte, or in the case not so little, raison could bring so much joy?

Thanks for a great laugh,

westcoastloon said...

Hey DAve,

I showed your blog post to a friend of mine at work, and he was so impressed he blogged your blog! You've been reblogged (better than getting re-gifted I guess.) Check out the I am Kimu blog to see for yourself.

Who knew a raison could do so much?

JAnie & DAve said...

Awesome, Claire! Thanks!
Nothing like shameless promotion!


Ernie Martens said...

I didn't want to say anything cause I felt kind of stupid, but I saw one of these super raisins buying a pack of camels at 7-11 a few months ago.

Lori said...

Your creative mind just makes me smile! I love it. I love how minds work and how yours has the ablility to take a big clump of raisins and make many people have a little extra joy in thier day! Keep it up! And mom Colvin, way to go for instilling this in Dave, I definately see where he gets it!! Love it!

JAnie & DAve said...

This has been one of my most favourite posts to do in a long time! And thanks for the great interaction, everyone!

And Ernie, don't feel stupid. Now if it were buying Viriga Slims--you know those old-lady cigarettes?--then you'd have to worry.

JAnie & DAve said...

I love Dave. I am going to encourage him, with all it takes, to persue his talents and share them with the world. He is amazing, and i think he would be satisfied if he spent his life sharing his odd thoughts with people, through enteratainment and art!