Samantics, History, and Nonsencery

Language.
The basic purpose of language is to communicate. But occasionally it falls short, due largely to the limited nature of language. In order to function, language must have some limits. If whenever we couldn't think of a word, we simply made up a new one, how could we possibly communicate with others? There would be no way of knowing what new words others had created or what they could mean. (This is why so many parents believe that their teens have stopped using English). However, while the growth of a language must be slowed, it cannot be stopped. For as long as a society is progressing beyond its previous state towards another, whether for better or worse, there will always be times when previous language simply will not suffice, and a new, bold addition to the language must be made.

This is one of those times.

I was talking to a youth from our church the other day (yes, I actually do that on occasion. At least I'm doing better at it now) and I was trying to express the newfound cultural importance of the name Colvin.

9 months before the wonderful Mrs. Rosa Parks made her historic stance against racism and started the mighty gears of the American Civil Rights Movement toward their inalienable goal, there was another. A younger woman, only 15 years of age at the time, also refused her seat to a white customer. She was subsequently arrested. Her story is the same as that of Mrs. Parks, yet it is only recently has this young woman gained recognition for her bravery. And that young woman's name was Claudette Colvin.

So there I was, trying to explain the significance of my namesake while trying to subdue my obvious and rather geeky enthusiasm for historical trivia, when I stopped.

What did I just say?

Colvin is my "Maiden" name?!

Suddenly my mind was filled with a very vivid and disturbing image. There I was, a young Colvin boy, dressed in a frilly pink dress and locked in the tallest tower of a castle, complete with dragon circling precariously.

"This is not right." I thought. "Maiden is NOT the right word".

(For those who do not quite understand, I was indeed born a Colvin, and my lovely bride was a Davidson. When we married, we decided to amalgamate our names into what it is today. Thus Colvin is strictly my pre-marriage name).

So I leave it to you, the blogger community, to enlist into the English language a bold, new word, a word that goes where no word has gone before! Specifically, it must be a word that describes a Man's name previous to his marriage, the same way "Maiden Name" refers to a woman's name prior to her wedding and assumed taking of her husband's name.

What should this new word be?
Me? My money's on "Maxibachlo!" "My Maxibachlo name is Colvin." It references both my previously unwedded state of Bachelorhood, and describes how cool and awesome my new marital state is: Maxi!

Now it's your turn! Comment! Do it now!
-Dave