Tuesday, September 19, 2006

AARRRR and AVAST!

Ahoy, ye scurvy dogs! Swash yer buckles and Celebrate! Surely today be a great an' glorious mornin', for this, the ninteeth day of September be none other than ye ol'

INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!


So shiver your timers and be ye were! Should you see the Jolly Roger flying over the horrizon, you'll surely be knowing why!

Here be 5 Tips on Acheiving true Buckeener Speech from the very founders of this most glorious festival:

"You have to learn the five A's... those are the five words that are the glue that binds pirate talk together. The first one is: 'ahoy!' That means 'hello'. Then there's 'avast!' That means 'stand and give attention' or 'dude! Look up!' Then there's 'aye', which means 'I heartily agree with everythin' you just said or did'," says Baur. "Then 'aye-aye' which means 'yes boss I'll get right on that just as soon as I finish this cup of coffee'. And finally... 'arrrrr'. It can mean anyhin' you want it to mean; 'my team's winning','my team's losing'-'I would like a biscuit'


Finally, I would'st be remiss if I didn't leave you with a word or two from the Imfomous Dave Berry, a most piratey propogator of this perpetual pagentry:

On September 19, do not answer the phone with "hello." Answer the phone with "Ahoy me hearty!" If the caller objects that he is not a hearty, inform him that he is a scury dog (or, if the caller is female, a scurcy female dog) who will be walking the plank off the poop deck and winding up in Davy Jones locker, sleeping with the fishes. No, wait, that would be Talk Like a Pirate in The Godfather Day, which is another variation I considered ("I'm going to make him an offer that will shiver his timbers"). But the point is that you should join in Talk Like a Pirate Day. You HAVE the buckles, darn it: Don't be afraid to swash them! Let's make this a grassroots movement that sweeps the nation, like campaign-finance reform, or Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I truly think this idea could bring us, as a nation, closer together. But not TOO much closer. Some of us will have swords. - from the 2004 Dave Berry calendar.

-D

3 comments:

Mom Colvin said...

Ahoy Shipmates! Avast and belay there me Hearties.

There be a strange cat in the yard. Hoist the topsail, splice the mainbrace, man the cannons and load the round shot.

Better yet, wake up old Jooky and alert him to the intruder. Aha, he's off in pursuit. They're engaging in the time-honored cat conflict - the staring match.

Arrrrrrr! the strange cat blinked first and has headed off into the bean field, Jooky is following stealthily. Make him walk the plank Jooky!

Honour satisfied and his ownership of the yard re-established Jooky is signalling that he wants to come aboard. Run out the gangplank, pipe him aboard bosun, welcome him back aboard you scurvy dogs. Dogs! oh yeah, we don't have dogs right now.

Well anyway, enjoy Speak Like a Pirate Day and don't eat the ship's biscuits - or if you must, then bang them on the table first to get rid of the weevils (them weevils is evil and they will give you the bellyache and live in your guts FOREVER, making you puke and such even though you are never seasick).

Love (in a piratish sort of way)

Long John Silver-haired Mom XX

Sarah Blackwell said...

Hello Janie and Dave,

It's Sarah Blackwell here, writing from Winnipeg this time! This has absolutely nothing to do with the original post (my apologies) but I have a question for you. Do you happen to have any muppets movies in your personal collection? I want to borrow some and I couldn't think of a better person to ask than Dave after seeing that incredible muppets figurine cartoon on this blog. I loved it by the way. Could you let me know if you have any and if you are willing to lend them out temporarily? (if you don't want to because they are too precious I would understand :)
Thanks,
Sarah

the g's said...

i'm glad matt didn't see this- he like to talk like a pirate way too much- if he knew there were an acutal day for talking like pirates i'd have to get away on that day every year...hmm...my own yearly vacation doesn't sound too bad now that i think of it...happy pirate's day!