Tuesday, August 14, 2007

All sorts!

I love summer today! I have our camera back now and a little bit of time this morning to make a post! Dave has been on holidays the past week. We still know nothing new about the house. On with the photos:

Our good friend Heather married a fellow called Peter this Saturday. We have known them both since college and enjoyed seeing them promise ridiculously lovey-dovey vows to each other! Featured below is not the new bride and her groom, but all of us "girls" that have been friends for the past 5 years! Many happy days to Peter and Heather!

The rest of the photos are all over the place in order. Last week we had a delicious Sunday dinner with some friends from church. They are the sweetest couple and have a number of their own grandchildren, but have taken time to show lots of love to Corrina as well! They always give her lots of cuddles and kisses, not to mention playtime in their lovely backyard! They have a cute, kid sized path through a cluster of flowers. Once Corrina discovered it and learned to go around on her own there was no stopping her:

Eventually Corrina lost balance and fell down onto the rocks. Steve, our friend, rushed over to help her up, gave her a kiss and patted her bum. She took one more step, stopped, and slowly lowered herself down onto a stone, assuming a very upset face. Steve saw that she was playing, but went over and helped her up again. She was on her way for the second time when she again lowered herself down very carefully, shot Steve a very upset look, turned back the other way cracked a smile and so quickly made a frown again. It was HILARIOUS!
Here is where my rant begins, consider this your warning!!!
Now, some may deem this situation to be her sinful nature coming forth manipulating or tricking us into thinking she is hurt. I don't think this though. When she first started doing it I was just shocked that she knew how to pretend like this. When we shared the funny story with our very wise friend, Brenda the ECE-III worker she said "wow, Corrina has learned how to engage people in play with her without using words!" She has always done this in many different manners, but she really liked that Steve came into her world and realized that she could 'play' with him by 'falling down'. Children with words can do this so much more easily just by asking someone to come "Mommy, come walk me!" or "help!" Corrina has to use her body and actions to engage people in her world right now and she has mastered it in yet another way!
I am always of the opinion that the "bad" or "sinful" things we label our children as doing really are not at all. Little people's minds develop as they grow and if Corrina was not learning to pretend or seek attention I would be very worried about her development! Often times I find the only reason that she misbehaves is because of the environment I have put her in. Is it really bad behaviour for an 18mnth old to make some noise in church? Not really, it is an unrealistic expectation; it is the environment, not the child. Of course not all situations lean this way, but I find as I watch families in all different places that perhaps the parents need to change the environment and not the child. I also really believe in all the joys of curiosity, decision making skills in little children, and the acceptance of the feelings that kids have. I believe that children need help with each of the above because they need to learn how to use those gifts appropriately, but nothing else makes me cringe as much as hearing a parent/adult deny or discredit a child's feelings "You don't need to be shy; You're not scared of the nice doggie; Forget it, it wasn't that bad!" This only teaches children to mistrust their feelings, but we must remember that feeling provide us with information. Feelings are neither good nor bad, they are different from actions, and furthermore feelings change! I believe we need to learn to listen to our children with as much care as we do to our best friends! Simple listening gives our children attention and let's them know you are actualy listening. Simple words like Uh-huh, really?, yeah, hum, and tell me more can help our children stay in charge of the problem themselves and it validates the way they are feeling because of a situation. It also helps to describe the situation and the child's feelings sometimes because little kids are learning what they are feeling and may not know if they have not been told. Sometimes kids need help working through feelings (anger can lead to some crazy behaviors, but it can always be worked through in positive ways without discrediting it!) and other times they just need to know you know how they feel: "Oh, you're mad you can't go to school with your sister." Sometimes that is it. It's okay for kids to feel! Actualy accepting feelings and helping kids learn to deal with mad feelings (take five deep breaths, go for a little walk, etc...) helps reduce power struggles! As you can imagine this is difficult with a little person who doesn't hear, but we have our ways! Rant over now.. I really could go on and on.. but instead I will leave you with a book title: Love and Limits by Elizabeth Crary. It has great examples of setting limits and consequences (do you know the difference between a reward and a bribe, or a consequence and a threat for instance? I'm sure you do!!!) but it also has amazing ideas for helping parents and children learn to deal with feelings!
Back to the pictures:
We went to the Gimli Icelandic festival. There was a a really neat viking village set up. People who have viking ethnicity or just interest actualy set up authentic camp for the weekend. We saw a women dying linen with onion skins. I loved the bedframes they had in their tents but forgot to take a picture.
Corrina liked playing in the rocks with mom and dad!

Dave and I are going on a 'date' this afternoon to a secret place. I know, he doesn't... he he he. Corrina is in daycare and dave is on holidays. We can keep her home if we want, and we did last week, but today we are going to use the time for a date. Plus, Corrina is so happy to be at daycare!


Mom Colvin said...

Love, love, LOVE all the pictures, especially the one of Corrina in her sunhat and the family photo.

How great that Corrina is interacting and playing with those around her, even without words yet.

Can't wait to see you all.

Love, Mom XX

Sue said...

hahahahahaha. ooooooooh the diaper is funny. very funny! hahaha.

glad to see all your happy-sappy pics. hope you hada great date!

from su

Claire Colvin said...

Janie, I love your perspective on allowing children to be children and to be themselves. I agree that we do anyone -- big or little -- a disservice when we ask them to ignore who they are. Well said and hear, hear!

Love all of the photos. Your friend's wedding dress is GORGEOUS. Great to see that you're getting use out of your navy dress. I am still searching for one myself. I've updated my background here at work with the picture of Corrina walking along the garden path with the bird path. What a summery shot.

much love you three,

Tricia said...

It seems I am incapable of smiling normally in any photo....

Tricia said...

Oh and it's actually six years

Ceone said...

I loved your rant, if only more people felt the same! I'm going out today to look for the book you mentioned - I've never heard of it before.